Now Let Us Rejoice!

So, at the risk of sounding a little bi-polar these days, and knowing nobody has ever accused a pregnant lady of being terribly unemotional or even-tempered, wasn't that a GREAT meeting???

I mean really, who knew the Lord would take an entire Relief Society broadcast and tailor the messages and the music for just myself, one lowly daughter among millions hoping for answers to their prayers, as well. Maybe everyone else got something out of the meeting – I sincerely hope so – but I cannot be convinced the meeting wasn’t speaking to me.

For example, an entire talk to identify the source of my angst last week as not simply a need for change, but the need to create? It took an Apostle to name my trouble, and he was exactly right. I have yet to decorate my home, but it moved a little higher on my priority list. In fact, my priority list, like yours probably, had some significant additions and subtractions, some rearranging and could almost be considered an act of creativity in and of itself that’s helped me feel much better already.

I wouldn’t have guessed, even with that, that though I was touched by the messages I would be deeply moved by the music. All the hymns were beautiful, and I love the choir director for what she and her efforts added to the meeting, but I’ve been thinking a lot specifically about the hymn referred to in the title to this post, one of the original hymns in Emma’s book. It was written by W.W. Phelps, and is called “Now Let Us Rejoice.”

Eleven years ago I was preparing to serve a mission, and back in the day they had farewells for missionaries and we were largely responsible for making hymn and speaker selections. I chose this hymn for my farewell and for my homecoming, because it’s always been such a motivating and wonderful missionary hymn in my mind. As the opening bars were played and the words flashed up on the screen in our stake center, I had the same thought cross my mind, and a memory of my mission farewell. Then, subtly, I heard the Spirit tell me to listen again, as the hymn would apply to my life now in ways I’d never thought of before.

I'll spare you and won't detail all my innermost thoughts here, but I listened last night with new ears and I heard my calling as a wife and mother, and as a member of the Relief Society, referenced in deeply personal ways and I just had to list a few, specifically in the third verse.

In faith we'll rely on the arm of Jehovah
To guide through these last days of trouble and gloom;

What comfort to mothers – this is exactly what we do, day in and day out, as we struggle to raise our children in an increasingly dark and wicked world. I find myself taking Justin's arm more and more these days as I'm getting rounder, or less sure-footed even in this pregnancy, so I guess it really spoke to me. What wonderful imagery, that we may indeed take His arm, lean on Him, and use that strength to bring our children through when we are either not strong enough, or maybe just not sure enough on our own.

And after the scourges and harvest are over,
We'll rise with the just when the Savior doth come.

I’ve in the past thought of other church members, people I taught on my mission, or ancient prophets and saints as parts of “the just.” But last night I realized the desire of my heart is that I see my children counted in that number. They have such faith, and such potential, I look forward to seeing that day. And someday, I hope, we will be together again as families. We’ll rise together. I also think about rising in conference or other meetings when the prophet is introduced to the room. The thought of sharing that testimony with my children is tender, too.

Then all that was promised, the Saints will be given,
And they will be crowned with the angels of heav'n,

And by now in the hymn, tears are streaming down my face as the otherwise unnamed “they” suddenly become the faces of Erick, Isabel, and Audrey. And THEY will be crowned with the angels of heav’n. The imagery makes me reach for tissues just thinking about it again! I can't picture a greater moment in life than to witness something so amazing.

And earth will appear as the garden of Eden,
And Christ and his people will ever be one.

In one verse from our hymnal, a song I memorized years and years ago and have heard many times since, suddenly I found myself renewed in my commitment to bringing my family and especially my children back to their Heavenly Father. I glimpsed the goal again and felt the fire lit within and the importance of my calling. I realized again through whom it was possible, and I hope we may be part of "his people" at that day.

So, if you’re not seeing it or feeling it the same way I did, no biggie. I know these things are quite personal, and for some reason that was what I needed just then. Apparently I don't put myself in these stories nearly often enough. And maybe you've had different thoughts or insights, and I'd love to hear those!

On a related note, we also had a testimony borne in our ward today that included an excerpt from a short story involving 5 silly fishermen. On their way in from the sea, they start counting the men in the boat and can only come up with 4 because none of the men counting counted himself. They go on to wail, moan and lament the tragedy that has befallen them because of their lost comrade, and I realized all too often I do the same thing. I listen to talks, to hymns, or even scripture stories and do a great job applying them to everyone but myself. The difference is I rarely see the tragedy of what I’ve done! In this case, the hymn was about “the saints”. Now the subject has forever changed to “my family.” I often try to bring things “closer to home” in family home evenings or scripture study, but in reality what I need is for the teachings to penetrate my home, and somehow there's still a subtle difference. Maybe it's just in the way the teaching is received.

So, for whatever you got out of the conference, Now Let Us Rejoice, girls (well, it WAS a RS conference after all, although you guys out there can be happy too, I suppose), because despite the darkness in the world, even though my 6-year-old insists on going to the men's room at walmart alone now, despite my cluttered house and the bananas smooshed on the hardwood floor (those are REALLY the worst), despite two-year-old tantrums and the old guys on wallstreet who never grew out of them, even though it's been days since I've worn a lick of makeup in silent protest of the system, and although with all that static it's easy to loose our focus on the parts of life that are most important, the Lord is mindful of each of us somehow still. We are so very blessed, we have such great responsibility, and we have so very much to look forward to!

And that image alone of "they shall be crowned" is enough motivation for me, at least for a few weeks, when if I'm lucky we'll sing it again in church. ;-)