So, with Cheryl's recent post about being all done with her christmas shopping, i've been thinking about the little problem we're facing for the first time in parenthood, albeit likely not the last. In the past when I've been thinking with the kids about what to write in their letters to Santa, I've held some sway and influence over their train of thought - I often persuade and suggest certain things that ultimately end up on the final list. I know, I should be promoting free-thinking children and all that. We do let them choose their clothes, allow them much freedom in what we eat for meals, they enjoy free time and help determine what we buy at the grocery store... sometimes. But when it comes to the list to Santa, I have insisted on taking as much rein as possible. Now I have a five-year-old, and that's all threatening to come to an end.
This year my son has been exposed to video games, and likes it. He has a cousin with an XBox, and that is honestly the ONLY thing on his christmas list. I've told him in many ways I'm not sure about his choice, to which he responds - but MOM, I'm asking SANTA. We all know Santa... that crazy guy in a red suit who oftentimes in stories and on tv brings things by magic that nobody else can find. Things expensive, or sold out, or whatever. However, most of you know we're students again this year, and I'm certain a $300 game system is NOT on our list of christmas possibilities. Now, this isn't a charity post. I expect without the system we'll have a very nice Christmas and my kids will have plenty to open and to play with. I'm just not sure how to approach the "Santa doesn't ALWAYS bring just what we ask for" issue with my child without losing his faith in that jolly icon. I know parents have struggled with that one for years - and in all likelihood every parent faces it at this time of year in some way, because as we all know - wealth is a relative measure.
Erick doesn't know his choice is expensive. He doesn't understand our financial situation. He just knows that Santa can do anything, and that he's been really good. So, here are my options. I've thought that maybe Santa can leave a letter explaining the absence of Xbox under the tree - it was lost? he ran out? he thought Erick would like such and such a toy better? some other child needed it more? (okay, I know it's just a game system, but it's important to Erick, so maybe we could pull that off)
On another note, I've decided this Christmas to focus more heavily on service to others. Erick is old enough finally that "Santa Claus" is very clear to him, and I pray he's also old enough to enjoy the true spirit of Christmas and the joy that comes this time of hear. We are surrounded by so much need. Yesterday we got some real help with that. My service-mom helped us gather a number of artificial christmas trees from people in her ward, and we rounded up a few from around us. Many student families in the MBA program have come from international locations, and of course left christmas decorations and trees at home, bringing only bare essentials. Most have had to replace many of those essentials upon arriving here, and are subsequently often a little more strapped for cash than the average student, so it was really fun to be able to pass out Christmas trees to these families who wouldn't have had one otherwise. We wouldn't have been able to do it without our own families collecting from their wards - they really did all the work. We just got the fun part. Some families shared stories and thank-you notes, and there were a lot of smiles. It was my favorite part of the season yet, and I think my kids even got into it.
I loved Cheryl's suggestion about wrapping a gift u nder the tree and filling it with service. I also loved Marcie's parents tradition of giving service for birthdays. This is an amazing time of year and I wish you all the best as you work through the intricacies of that balance between santa and spirit in your own homes - I'm still not entirely sure of our own course of action on the video game, but I do know in way I haven't before that we certainly all need all the help we can get navigating that fine line, and pray we will individually be blessed with the wisdom we need.
5 comments:
Oh thanks for sharing this. I am already starting to think about all of these things and how we want to handle the Santa and incorporate service. I love hearing about it and getting ideas from wise and wonderful mothers like you! You'll have to let us know how it all turns out. I'm sure you'll do the perfect thing.
That is totally a tough one. My boys were talking abou wanting a Wii ($350 with the extra paddle) and I told them maybe they could get it if it was the ONLY thing they ask Santa for. Of course they all 3 couldn't agree to that, so I got off the hook, but this is different with Erick. He is too young to understand cost and if it's the ONLY thing he's asking for, you hate to dissapoint. I know it years past our parents have given us money for bigger things and that is their Christmas present to the kids, but I don't think you really want to get a gaming system right now. They can be great, but evil at the same time. I swear I have been tempted to chuck our PS2 out the window far too many times when the boys will not turn it off.
Last year Trey asked for a Nerf Long Shot gun. But tacking $35.00 onto our Christmas bill and having to fit another box into the luggage I didn't get it for him. I simply told him Santa can't bring everything. Now we tell the boys to write down their top 3-5 choices in hopes that Santa can get some of them.
I don't know what to tell you to do about Erick, but anyone of those answers you came up would work. He is still young, and as long as their are toys under the tree, he'll be happy!
Plus- we have found the Xbox systen doesn't have that many kid friendly games. I did see they have the VSmile game system on sale at Target this week for $39.99. We have one and the kids love it. You just have to buy a wall plug from RadioShack and not use batteries. It eats batteries up. The games are age appropriate and teach educational stuff. That's an idea.
I loved that you gathered up trees for people in your ward. When I was in Provo and in YW we had some very needy families. We made quilts at Thanksgiving and my parents bought some gifts and we delievered it to them on Christmas Eve (I stayed hidden in the car). It was one of the most memorable thing I've ever done. To see the girls in their new clothes at church brought a tear to my eye. It's things like these that make the Christmas season special, and not what's under the tree.
Sorry for a novel here, but I really love reading your blog and staying close. It makes me so happy!
Love you Laura!
That really is tough one Laura. I like Cheryls idea about having Erick list a few things and telling him that Santa may be able to bring one of them. I also have neighbors who have a vsmile and their kids LOVE it. Also, if you decide to get him one, he is small enough not to know whether or not it is new. You could find an older one on ebay or something that may be a bit cheaper. Good luck!!
good ideas... I think we may have to go with asking him to give a few choices - but we'll see how things go this week. Unfortunately, we already have a v-smile AND a nintendo 64 (the latter we inherited from a mission-minded brother when he left) so embarassingly enough he's a relative pro at age five. It's the whole idea of needing now what the jones's have. ;-) As you can guess, I'm already leary of purchasing yet another game system, and would much prefer he got into a new sport or something. We'll see what he comes up with on a top three list. :-)
I am laughing at Erick after I read your comment. He would get along so well with my boys. Trey was far better than me at his PS2 when he was 4. Yes 4. What these kids learn. Good luck. I hope he comes up with a few better choices in his top 3!
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